


The Past is the Past

by Laurabella2930



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Bonding, Established Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Implied Relationships, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:03:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5275832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurabella2930/pseuds/Laurabella2930
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4x07 moment for Sara and Felicity since they didn't even speak on air. And also a little alone time for our Olicity. Issues that bugged me from 2x06 and 2x13 are brought up in the conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Past is the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters. No copyright infringement intended.

 

**The Past is the Past**

 

The computer’s consistent hum finally stopped as Felicity released a long and heavy sigh. She’d been tired for what seemed like months ever since they’d come back from Ivy Town and resumed their old lives. She wasn’t unhappy actually quite the opposite she was content in her utter exhaustion. However her contentment hadn’t shielded her from the fact that her happiness was not Oliver’s. Now granted he agreed and Felicity knew that some part of him no matter how small was happy to be among his family and friends once again but...

Felicity could still feel the loss that their coming home had caused. Oliver like herself had been different while on their extended time away from the mass chaos and confusion that was vigilante life. Oliver had taken to their new life like a fish to water but Felicity...well she had struggled. Felicity had found herself and she’d found a purpose with Oliver and his crusade. She’d not only found a deeper meaning for her own life but she’d also found a family along the way. 

Diggle had become in the span of the over three years her friend, mentor, and her brother. He’d protected her but also guided her along the often sharp and prickly road that was Oliver Queen’s heart. John had been her shoulder and ear whenever Oliver had left her heart slightly dented. John had seen the potential they had together but also apart. Losing his constant and reassuring presence had sent Felicity reeling but that was only until she got that first call. Felicity glanced over at the clock and noted that she only had fifteen minutes before Oliver’s campaign manager would be calling her to remind her of their upcoming social engagement. 

Standing from her seat Felicity stretched her arms up to the sky and released a loud breath of trapped tension filled air from her lungs. As she worked out the kinks in her shoulder and lower back she began to remember once more the phone call that had started it all...

_“John I’m kinda...” Felicity glanced around the room for Oliver before whispering back into the phone. “John I’m busy Oliver has made some arrangement for scuba diving lessons and he’ll be back to get me any minute so what’s up?”_

_Felicity had managed to convince Oliver that she needed just a few more minutes to clear her head after last night’s wine fueled confessions when she saw John’s number flashing across her phones sleeping display. She knew that neither John nor Oliver had made any real attempt to contact the other since the events of that night but Felicity ever the peacemaker had been trying for him. She unlike Diggle could see what his loss was doing to Oliver and it had begun to break Felicity’s heart. So in an attempt to help heal those wounds she’d given Lyla a call. Lyla like herself was willing to let the past go in order for the four of them to move on but John he wasn’t so willing. Once Felicity had decided enough was enough and reached out to John the rest became history._

_“Felicity we need your help...”_

_With this one lone small sentence Felicity froze in place within the tiny hotel bathroom. Part of her had been yearning and aching to feel the rush of her old life if only just for few spare seconds. But another part of her the larger part at this point yearned only for the rush of adrenaline that being with Oliver could provide. With a slightly shaky voice Felicity said “John I have a scuba diving lesson in a few minutes so whatever help you need had better be fairly small.”_

_She heard the slight cough in the background and flushed when she realized that the cough was female. “John who’s with you?”_

_Moments later another voice joined in on the conversation. “Felicity please we can’t do this without you. These men we’re facing they’re good at hiding their tracks and well...” Laurel’s voice cut off when Thea suddenly chimed in._

_“Felicity please just help us out for few days on the tech end and I swear we’ll never bother you again.”_

_Felicity’s head fell forward into the door as she groaned out a small “Fine but this is a onetime deal. I won’t keep secrets from him...We’ve come too far and we’ve waited too long for this chance to be together. I won’t blow it by lying to him about the three of you.”_

_The rest as they said was history._

Smiling softly to herself she once more glanced down at her phone to see Alex’s number flashing across the screen. She must be running late so she grabbed the dress that Thea herself had picked out just two nights ago and rushed towards the buildings elevator. With her fingers lightly tapping at her dress covered arm she began to hum as she watched the elevator’s number rise. Once more floor...

One more floor and she’d be on her way to Oliver...

Or so she thought...

When the elevator pinged to life Felicity about fell over as a surprise visitor stepped off the lone empty car. 

“Felicity can we talk?” 

Felicity glanced down to see that now Oliver had gotten into the act with a few texts to remind her that tonight was an important event that he wanted her to attend. Glancing upward at her soft expression filled face made Felicity’s heart hurt. So she made a choice and stowed the phone away at the bottom of her purse. 

“Sara why don’t we talk in my office okay?” Felicity held out her hand and waited the few seconds it took for Sara to accept the gesture. 

“Felicity?....” She glanced back at the sound of Sara’s small voice. 

“Yes Sara?” 

Sara shifted her hand within Felicity’s before she uttered out a small “I missed you.”  

With that Felicity smiled and pulled her long lost friend into what was Ray’s former office. 

* * *

 

Sara’s warm vibrant hand still felt foreign within her own. Felicity had seen her dead arrow ridden form on that blasted table, she’d seen her opened eyes were vacant and cold as Oliver’s trembling fingers slid them shut. She’d watched as Laurel mourned her loss, and she watched as Oliver mourned her as well. Sara’s death had affected them all in vastly different ways but the worst for Felicity was Oliver. His pain she felt even deeper than her own...

It was then she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she’d never love another the way she loved him. Felicity stopped in front of the over sized cream couch and gently pulled Sara down to sit beside her. Felicity was unsure of what to do other than talk so she did what for her always came naturally. 

“Sara why are you here? And please just tell me the truth instead of searching for something meaningful and poetic.” Felicity’s tone indicated humor but she hoped Sara knew that it also indicated loss. They’d been close once upon a time and part of Felicity wondered if their friendship was ever more than just based on the team needing them to be. 

Felicity glanced towards her face to see a ghost of a smile had appeared upon her once solemn face. She was about to speak when Sara’s small voice finally found it’s edge. “Felicity I need your help.” 

Felicity replied quickly with “Sara what could I possibly help you with? You’re home and surrounded by friends and family. Sara you’re right where you belong so really what could I do that would help you?” 

“I need you to help me find myself again...I need you to do what Laurel can’t...” Sara looked down at their clasped hands and squeezed down even harder as Felicity gulped. 

“Sara what are you talking about?” 

“Felicity I need you do what you did before...” 

Felicity gulped again as Sara’s eyes became hard as ice. “Sara I didn’t do anything before...I’ve never done anything before that would be along the lines of what you’re asking.” 

Sara gulped now; her eyes growing softer as she placed her other hand atop of their joined ones. “Felicity you and Oliver you’re happy together right?” 

Felicity nodded so Sara continued. “Did you two ever talk about why I really left, did he ever tell you why I broke things off with him?” 

Felicity said a small “No.” Before adding “He’s always been very secretive with that aspect of our shared past why?” 

Felicity saw the answer in her tear rimmed eyes before the words ever left her lips. “You see me as his light don’t you?” 

This time it was Sara who was nodding her grip upon Felicity’s hand lessened by a small fraction as she shifted slightly closer. “Felicity when I came home I never expected to end up with him again...I never expected to find a home again but I did with all of you until...” 

This part Felicity recalled quite clearly because while it hurt to see them together she’d seen that their relationship had been good for them both. Oliver had been lonely for quite some time as he harbored an still unspoken fear of hurting someone he cared for. Her heart still ached as she recalled what for her was the most gut wrenching speech she’d ever heard. 

The words “I think it’s better not to be with someone that I could really care about.” had haunted her waking and even sleeping hours for months. Her heart had been dented  but then when he started his relationship with Sara her heart had fallen even further into her stomach. He’d risk being with her...

He’d risk being with this beautiful, flawed, scarred woman from his past but he wouldn’t risk being with her...

He wouldn’t risk her...it was during this memory that Felicity snapped back to her current reality as Sara’s sad eyes bored into her own. Her words fell easily from her tongue as Sara’s plea fell into place. “You think Oliver found his humanity in me don’t you?” 

Sara’s voice shook as she replied “Yes...and now I need you to help me find mine.” 

“Sara...” Felicity’s voice was filled with compassion but also twinged with pain for the woman who still sat before her. 

“No Felicity you don’t understand Ollie found his light with you...he was lost Felicity he was just as lost if not more so than I was but not with you. He was never lost or confused when he was with you. You focused him and made him yearn to be a better man than before. I need you to do the same for me.” Sara was practically begging now as her fingers dug deeper into Felicity’s skin. “Felicity please just tell me how you helped him and then please help me.” 

Felicity felt lost and confused her thoughts were a mess of jumbled and conflicting emotions as the strong woman before her continued to fall apart. She could hear the annoying buzz of her phone as it rattled harshly against the glass table. She knew it was Oliver and she knew he needed her but right now someone else needed her more. So sparing her promises to Oliver not another thought she managed to weaken Sara’s harsh grip just long enough to pull her into a tight hug. 

Sara folded instantly into her embrace as she clung tightly to Felicity’s shoulders her body that was once slightly trembling was now ratting as her unspoken fears threatened to swallow her whole. 

“Sara...come on Sara I need you listen to me. I need you to hear me otherwise I can’t provide the help you seek.” Her voice was soft and gentle as she rested her head upon her friend’s. Their forms were cuddled tightly together as Felicity attempted to ease Sara’s confused if not troubled mind. 

Once Sara’s sobs turned to small whimpers Felicity spoke her words she hoped would strike at the heart of Sara’s true problem. “I know you feel lost Sara...I know that the woman you were died over a year ago...I know that the woman who was slowly becoming my best friend died and left us all to mourn her tragic passing.” 

Felicity was calmly rubbing her hands up and down the spine of Sara’s back as she slowly rocked them back and forth. Sara’s rapt breaths could be felt against the exposed skin of her neck. 

“I know that you feel out of place...your mantle was taken up by your sister and the place you once filled has been taken over by not one but two women that Oliver holds dear.” 

Sara’s sobbed stopped as she attempted to rebuke Felicity’s last words. “Felicity this is not about that...”

But Felicity was faster. “Yes it is Sara. You had a place in this odd thrown together family that we’d all created and then you died...” Felicity’s voice shook slightly as her own emotions once more got the better of her. 

“Felicity...” Sara’s voice was now the comforting one as she attempted to ease her own friends guilt. 

The tears that she’d kept contained until now finally fell freely from her eyes and down her cheeks until the moisture landed upon Sara’s dirty blonde hair. Felicity sniffed and blinked rapidly as she spoke once more. “No Sara I have to say this because you think you’re broken but you’re not. You think we replaced you and that’s the farthest thing from the truth. Oliver shut down completely when you died. He pushed me even further away then he already had...he broke my heart...but your death broke us all. We’d lost loved ones before but you had survived so much...you’d found so much in spite of your tragic circumstances...” Felicity’s own floodgates finally couldn’t be contained anymore as she let all the grief and pain of the past year and half flow forth from her in a torrent of painful emotion. 

“You don’t need me to find your light Sara you just have to find your way again. You were wrong when you told Oliver that you couldn’t harness the light that was still inside of him...You couldn’t harness his light because you had yet to harness your own. Oliver needed me but you Sara you simply need you...”

Felicity’s tears slowed as she uttered her last statement into Sara’s now tear stained blonde tresses. “You just have to find another way just like Oliver did and all that you wish for can still be yours. You have now a third chance Sara don’t waste it on being afraid...don’t hide your heart because you’re afraid of what happens when you finally decide to let someone in.” 

Whatever words were left to be said remained unsaid as the two best friends remembered why they’d become so in the first place. 

* * *

 

Oliver’s moment had come and gone with the same ease and grace that he brought to every speaking engagement thus far. Felicity had never felt so proud nor had she felt so cherished as she did in those moments when he was standing there before the masses. Oliver’s eyes floated across the room hitting everyone’s gaze for a few spare moment before his eyes finally fell on her own. He’d wait until the speech was almost done...he’d wait until he’d done his duty to the campaign before his gaze met her own. She’d smile softly as her eyes began to sparkle her heart raced beneath her cool, calm demeanor as their eyes finally locked. His lips would curve slightly to let her know that this was their’s. This lone solitary moment was just about the two of them...this was just about the love they shared. All the speeches in the world would be worth it if it meant that he’d spend the last 40 seconds sharing that one solitary moment with her. 

Felicity was brushing out her hair as Oliver came up from behind. He bent down to kiss the crown of head before his hands drifted towards her bared shoulders. His rough calloused palms felt heavenly against her softer and much smoother skin. He rubbed out all the kinks of the day while she rested her head against the middle of his stomach; her eyes slammed shut as he lowered himself down behind her. 

“Why didn’t you answer my calls earlier?’ Oliver’s tone wasn’t accusatory or unkind just curious as he placed small kisses along the blades of her shoulders. 

Felicity hummed with appreciation as she let him pull her back towards his warm chest. His lips now moved up and down the column of her neck as his arms banded around her slim waist. Without thinking she spoke her voice light and at peace as the story slid easily from her throat. “Sara came to see me and she asked me to do the strangest thing...’ 

Oliver stopped kissing her neck at this point which caused Felicity to pause. “Oliver baby what’s wrong?” 

He thought for a few moments as he subconsciously weighed his next words. “Felicity are you ever upset about my past with Sara?” 

Felicity turned her face towards him as Oliver pivoted the rest of her. He moved his arms from around her waist so he could turn her body towards his own. The small bench was meant for one but somehow they always managed to make it fit for two. With her legs now hooked around his waist and their chests now brushing the other’s she spoke with a slight amount of trepidation in her voice. “Oliver why would you ask me that?” 

He lowered his head until the skin of his forehead was resting against her naked collarbone. He sighed as he replied. “Because I told you I couldn’t be with you because I could really care about you and then I turn around and sleep with Sara...” He hesitated so she pushed wanting him to trust her with the memories of the past. 

“Oliver that’s all over now. We’re together now so just tell me what’s bothering you.” Felicity leaned her cheek upon the back of his head as she rubbed her hands up and down his exposed spine. She felt his muscles ripple and tense with each frenzied breath he took. 

“I thought she was as good as it could get Felicity...I hadn’t realized how lonely I was until she came down to the lair that night. She was warm, she knew about my past and she had the same scars...I thought...” 

“You thought Sara was the only person who could understand you and clearly you were wrong.” Felicity smiled weakly as she recalled her parting words with Sara.

_“Are you going to be okay?” They’d kept their hands together as they strode back to the elevator. Each woman felt that a small burden of the past had finally been laid to rest. Felicity’s last words still hung in the air as Sara reached out to press the down button.  
_

_“I’m alright Felicity.” Sara seemed calm but Felicity was still unsure. “Felicity I promise once I get to where I’m going I’ll call you and this time it won’t be once every few weeks. You’re right I have another chance and that means this time I won’t lose touch with my friends...”  
_

_She took a breath before saying “I won’t sever the bonds I have with my sisters...I won’t ever abandon you or Laurel ever again.”_

_Felicity drew her into a tight hug as the elevator doors pinged open. Before they parted Felicity whispered into her right ear. “I love you Sara.” Her fingers were clenched tightly in her hair as Sara replied._

_“I love you too Felicity...I love you too.”_

Oliver’s voice brought her back to the present as his once roaming hands came to rest upon her face. “Felicity hey you still with me?” 

She smiled shyly before replying “Oliver when you asked Sara to move in with you was it because you were in love with her or was it because she was safe?” 

Oliver’s lips quirked into a small frown as Felicity hit upon a subject he usually tried to avoid. “Felicity...” 

“No Oliver Sara told me I was your light, she told me that I was your humanity so I need to know if I meant so much to you then how could you want to build a life with her? How could you be with her but not with me?” Felicity didn’t pull away from him in fact she just held him tighter as her thighs tightened around his waist. She saw the warring emotions as he weighed his next words. 

“Oliver there’s no right or wrong answer here just talk to me.” She pushed and finally he answered. 

“I thought I loved her enough for that to be enough. I thought that by being with her I could avoid losing you.” Now Felicity was at a loss...

“Oliver what...that makes no sense at all.” She leaned closer as she rested her head beneath his chin and against his chest. 

He smiled into her air as he held her close his fingers were now skimming beneath the thin cotton fabric of her camisole. “Sara was safe...she didn’t challenge me or push me to be more than I already was. She represented a safe choice...if I lost her I’d survive but if I lost you...” Oliver’s voice cracked and trembled as Felicity placed a small kiss to his collar bone. 

“Oliver shhh you don’t have to say it...” Her voice was soft and muffled as she spoke into his chest. 

Oliver however felt differently. “I’d be lost...Felicity if I lost you all the progress I’ve made would die with you. The man that came back from Lian Yu would be a King compared to the man I would become in order to avenge you. All that darkness is held back by you...all the best parts of me are wrapped up in you. That’s why I chose Sara because I’d survive her loss I knew I wouldn’t survive your’s.” 

Oliver about to continue but Felicity had heard enough. She tilted her head upwards as she began to kiss and nuzzle at the strong muscular line of his throat. Her fingers roaming down to reach beneath the band of his sweat pants. 

“Felicity...” His own fingers were digging into her bared flesh as he roughly moved them up and forward towards the bed. 

He undressed her slowly taking his time to explore every smooth contour of her body as his lips traveled down the length of her heated skin. Felicity used her fingers to memorize his body for the thousandth time...each time brought about a new scar or mark that she aimed to kiss away. Oliver’s naked form was stretched out beneath her as she slowly slid down his length. Their bodies joining in a dance that was well rehearsed but never boring. As they rocked in and out of the other Felicity glanced down into his warm and brilliant blue eyes. Her words came out harsh and raspy as their bodies moved faster against the other’s. 

“I love you...” 

Oliver’s reply was short and hard as they finally became one. “I love you...” 

As she collapsed upon his sweaty chest she smiled as a wave of pure contentment washed over her. Her voice as still raspy as she spoke in between placing small chaste kisses to his Bravta tattoo. “Oliver just so you know the feeling is mutual. If I lost you I’d be unrecognizable.” 

Oliver brought his arms up and around her back flipping them over as he angled his form once more over her own. “Then let’s make sure we never lose each other okay?” 

She smiled as she tugged his face down to place a long and languid kiss to his swollen lips. Before their lips touched she uttered out a small “Deal...” All other thoughts were lost as Oliver once more slid deep within her his movements were slow until their own desires brought them once more full circle. 

* * *

 

Felicity woke up when she heard her phone ping from her nightstand. Oliver was still wrapped tightly around her so she slid out a lone arm as she sought to silence the lone distraction in otherwise silent room. 

She glanced at the display noticing that it a missed call from Sara was what caused the interruption to her otherwise peaceful sleep. She pressed the envelope icon and a small box of text from her visual voicemail system appeared on the screen. 

The message was short and sweet...

I’m safe, I’m okay, I’ll be home soon, and I love you. Sara

With her mind now fully at ease she placed the phone back on the nightstand and curled back down within Oliver’s strong embrace. 

When the sun broke through the dark night sky a new day with new questions would begin; but for now all Felicity had to think about was this one stolen moment of utter peace. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on Tumblr @laurabelle2930


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